March Plogs

they always say that when you’re with your friends, no matter what, to make them happy, you rather tell them a lie rather then the truth because you know it’ll make them happy. it’s true. sometimes you just have to tell a lie to get through to your friends. sometimes it makes them learn in the long run. you’ve told them many times but they just won’t listen, thus is why you tell them the truth and hope that they’ll learn for themselves. for me, people are very honest with me and that’s what i love about everyone in my life. there is no lie. i guess it’s sometimes that i will like for it to happen in the future. to listen to a lie that i kno is too a lie, yet know that the only reason they are telling me is because well, they love me and know that it’ll make me happy, knowing that i will soon learn from my mistakes like i always do.

if you think about it, there is this lie that you’re always telling, knowing that it is a lie, yet always telling it. you don’t feel guilty about it yet you feel that because of this lie, you’ve come to show a different side of yourself. sometimes a lie can live on for a very long time, sometimes people who become close to you and start to get to know, will soon find that you’ve lied. a lie hurts, but sometimes it doesn’t. some people will understand and some people won’t. I guess it’s kind of a give and take as it is.

remember when you were in grade school, teachers will ask you, what do you want to be when you grow up? you start naming everything you want to be. it’s amazing what things we wanted to be sometimes. my childhood dream job was to be a police man then it changed to a firefighter. i really don’t know why but i know there must have been a good reason behind it of course. i too want to know what it means. it really amazes me about what i’ve wanted to do all my life. every year i seem to want to do something different. choosing a major for college wasn’t easy. i remember telling myself that i don’t want to see myself doing business but look at where i am. enjoying my time with business and the classes. i guess you don’t really know what you want to do until you’re there and that you don’t have much time left. you’re getting older and you’re getting ready to settle down your life. you’re ready to take on your own responsibilities and ready to make sometimes of yourself. i guess people change.

being a kid, we all want to grow up and do grown up things. but when we’re all grown up and having more responsibilities, we want to be kids again. but then again, there is a kid inside all of us. how many more steps do we have left until we reach the end. but why do we want it end so fast when we have only began. sometimes we just don’t know when to stop and never know when to start. sometimes we are already half way down the path and want to start new or want it end where you already are. it’s tiring sometimes i know, i should know of course. i’ve taken so many different paths in my life, some finished, some still in the process and some given up on. i guess it’s just human nature sometimes. living this life you can’t always be satisfied with everything that you do. it’s sometimes tiring but yet we continue. don’t count down the steps you have left, instead enjoy it.

i understand i’m not always a happy person and i too already know that. i know that i’m not always in the best mood for everything that ever happens but sometimes it’s just how life is. truthfully i’ve tried to change my ways and become a different person. i try to be a happier person around everyone. though i live behind a mask for most of my life, i think whenever i’m happy and i see the people around me happy as well, i’m more than just happy. it’s a true face of happiness. i guess it’s like laughing. when one person laughs, everyone laughs along, knowing it’s not funny or not knowing what’s going on, because laughter is contagious, like many other things. for me, it’s being happy. when someone is happy, i’m happy and that’s a good sign for me of course.

i somehow remember saying this to myself one time a few years back. i want to fall in love but i want to fall wrongly. i guess it’s like saying, i want to fall in love, but i don’t want to fall into a lovey dovey love. i don’t want to be treated well and i don’t want my boyfriend to show much affection towards me. i guess never being able to fall in love for a long time now. never have been in a relationship. for my first ever relationship, if i were to fall in love with a guy, i want to be the one in love and i too want him to be in love but i want  him to man up. i want him to show me that he’s in controll. i want him to be able to treat me the way he would treat any regular person. i want a normal human being. sure the first few weeks can go smoothly as much as possible, but later on, i guess i want to be hurt by love. it’s kind of weird to say this, but for my first ever relationship, i want to be hurt by love and i want to be able to look back on it and know that it was something i had expected. i mean, isn’t that what love is?

make everyday sometimes special. it doesn’t have to be father’s day, a birthday, mother’s day, valentines day, annivarsery, christmas, or whatnot. make everyday something different. like for me, on random day, i like to declare it as joua “something” day. for me, it’s a way for me to say that today, it may not be anything special to other people, but to me, i’ll make today a day to remember. but that’s just the kind of person that i am. my mood everyday is different. my mood every night is different. but when i declare a day joua “something” day, it makes me know that sometimes might or might not happen, but at least, i thought about myself today. I’m not a person that don’t really thinks about myself first but instead think of the people around me and always put them first. if you’re kind of like me where you always put everyone first, declare a day as you something day. it’s a way for yourself to think about yourself.

They always say forgive and forget. But the reason we forgive is because a reason. There is a reason to everything in which we do and or say. Why forget something that will somehow affect your friendship, your relationship, or your relationship with other people around you. Isn’t it a little weird when thinking about it. I was always told to forget everything that ever happened, because what happened is all in the past now and you don’t have anything to worry about anymore. But that’s not true. It worries you more then you think about it because you really don’t know how to react. You need a evidence to why you are forgiving this person. Is it really worth forgetting it in the end?

It’s hard living everyday day by day. It’s already hard as it is as we try to live each day without having to worry. Sometimes our biggest fear is never being remembered for anything that we’ve done. We deserve to live in isolation sometimes. I mean, it’s kind of like “a break from reality”. Sometimes we just need to get up and leave and disappear without anyone knowing. When they notice you gone, they’ll call after you and wonder where the hell you are. It’s crazy to say that it, but I think that it’s worth it, really. We all need a break from reality, even though we’re not sure what reality really is.

Having to forget someone after having them a part of your life for so long, it’s hard to wonder what it would be like to have all those great memories fade away. It’s hard on my part, because having kept these memories with me for the last seven year, crying over them, laughing over them, and even wondering what it would be like if I’ve done differently. I know it’s crazy, but sometimes that’s what it’s like when you fall in love I suppose. I’m not a big person on love, but for me, it was sometimes that was worth experiencing once at a young age. I took wonder what it was really all about. Was it puppy love or just crazy love? I hate to say it, but with these memories fading away it hurts me, but then again, it’s a relief in the end.

It’s tiring living each day remembering everything that’s been a part of your for so long. It would be nice to live a few day sin my life without having to remember something I’ve regretted, sometimes I’m always looking forwards to thinking back about because it makes me smile, without looking back and wondering what it would have been like. It’s like saying; Should have, Would Have; Could have. It’s crazy, yet so tiring. I want to spend a day without remember anything that’s ever happened. To be able to just sit and have no worries at all. The memories I make that day, will become the only memory I’ll remember at that moment. Such a big wish, I tell ya.

There are seven colors in the rainbow. We’re a shade of each color. We have a uniqueness to each color. Each color represents something different and sometimes it really a way to show our true selves with our true colors. We might feel differently each day but each color seems to represent us in some kind of way, have you ever thought about that?

You think you have all the time in the world to do anything that you want to do. Thinking that when you have the right amount of time, you somehow seem to never have enough. Never having enough time to do anything can always be tiring and bothersome. Sometimes you want to stop time and just live in the moment for that part in time, but sometimes it just doesn’t work out that way. I hate when time flies and you having done anything you wanted to do. Sometimes time just goes by so slow and you’ve done everything you could have possible done and yet there isn’t anything else to do.

Sometimes people depend on fate too much, sometimes people just don’t have enough. What’s what anymore really? Some people that we meet the wrong people for a reason then again, we meet the right people for all the wrong reasons, or even vice versa. I don’t know what to think anymore when it comes to that kind of situation sometimes. You feel like you’ve made all the right move but then in the end you’ve done it all wrong. Meeting people is kind of like that sometimes. You meet people for the first time, sometimes your impression of them isn’t great, or you’re just like everyone else and just pretend you are their best friend and can come to like them. I’m kind of like that. I mean, I may act like a great person in front of a person I’ve met for the first time, but it’s just my kind of nature. But it doesn’t mean that I’ll like them in the long time, I may or may not, it varies I suppose.

Sometimes we just need to look at what’s in front of us to see what we’re really missing out in life. Sometimes the best view are those that have always been in front of our eyes. We sometimes we don’t see and sometimes we need to be told to do so. Like they always say, sometimes what we’ve been looking has been right under our nose. We search high and low for something, but in the end what we have always been looking for has always been closes to us and we don’t even know it. It’s nice to know that we can depend on our eyes so much to see what it’s like in the world.

Sometimes finding time to be with someone is a hard thing because not everyone is as free as some. Some people are just regularly more busy than others. It’s hard to be with someone sometimes because you just don’t seem to be able to connect after a long time and it’s hard to understand each other because of the distance between each other for so long. I guess for me, it’s my fault really. I really do isolate myself from everyone around me, always saying that I can’t do this or that; or that I’m too busy; or that I’m too far. I guess for me, I’ve always liked being alone but sometime I do like the company, it’s just hard to find the right time sometimes. But I guess that’s just how life is.

Being a kid we always had a lot of imagination. We always wanted to do this and that. We always had a great time playing pretend and wanting to do this and to do that. Sometimes it’s just a matter of putting in the time to make the imagination into reality. Sometimes we don’t even know that our greatest childhood imagination has becomes the greatest effect on our future. Sometimes we just have to let our imagination flow and let it lead us to where we need to get in life. It’s amazing how interesting sometimes can become when our imagination and creativity takes the best of us. Sometimes we just create the best thing that will become the biggest thing to look back on.

Sometimes to begin our journey, we need to be the first to take the step and not wait for someone else to tell us to do so. Sometimes we might need that boost of energy or motivation, but we are the only one that can begin it. We can’t always depend on the poeple in our lives to keep holding our hands and showing us the way because it’s too hard. Sure, the first few times we can ask for help, but like I’ve always been saying, if you want to get somewhere great in life you have to be able to do it on your own without anyone’s help. All you need is their motivation and your own two feet to keep moving forward.

Every girls have dreamed of their knight in shining armor. We wanted to live in those crazy fairy tales. Its interesting what fairy tales can really do for you in the long run. “Boy, let me be your knight and shining armor. You’re still growing to be a great man. As for now, I’ll be your knight and shining armor on a white horse to your rescue!” Why can’t the woman ever be the knight and shining armor? Why does it have to be the man that is always trying to save the woman? I know it’s how the old world works, but can’t things just change up for a bit. Like in Korean Dramas. Why is it always the woman who has cancer and dies. Why can’t it be the man that dies from cancer and let the woman cry out in the middle of the street? “Don’t try finding the woman of your dreams; instead be the man that she dreams of” Sure we all want our night and shining armor but sometimes we just want a normal guy who is willing to love and not do everything for us.

People are always asked, “if you could go back in time, would you?” Many people would say no, knowing that it’s the answer to say. Knowing you should dwell in the past and that you should mess up the past. But sometimes, changes are good in the future. If possible, I would love to relive many different times in my life. I want to live it differently and do things differently. I want to be able to be my own confident and know that there isn’t anything in the world that I can’t do. I guess being the person I am right now, I’m not satisfied with that, thus that’s why i want to go back in time and change whatever I can. It would be great if it were possible. To change the things I’ve done and to do it differently.

We all want to do something in our lifetime to be able to remembered by someone or everyone. We all want to change the world in some kind of way and form, but sometimes we as individuals can’t do it on our own. Its already hard as it is but sometimes we just have to keep believing in ourselves sometimes. Yeah its crazy just thinking about it but sometimes we have to think about what we’re doing. What we do today, will it be remembered tomorrow? How will it change our lives or the lives of others? There are so many questions related to this topic. Sometimes we just have to sit back and watch but sometimes we have to do something about it. We want today to be remembered by tomorrow and the next day and so forth.

We expect so many people at the finish line of every race. Sometimes there isn’t anyone there. Sometimes we just don’t know who is waiting for us. But sometimes we have to think about why we are here in the beginning. The one waiting for you at the end is yourself. You have to understand that everything that you do, you do for yourself and no one else. Sure you want to do it for someone, but in the long run, you’re always doing it for yourself. To be able to say that you did it with only the thought that no matter what the one that has always been cheering you on has been yourself. Sure there are many people who are cheering you on, but your biggest support is yourself.

We have to focus on what is in front of us. Sometimes we have to keep out eyes open and try not to miss that very important thing. Open your eyes and seek for something new, open your eyes and see what you’re missing out on. I guess I’ve had a lot of plogs that revolve around opening your eyes and seeing what’s in front of you and seeing what you’re reall missing out on because somehow it’s going to be important and you won’t even know it. It’s kind of like saying the same thing over and over so you don’t forget it. I guess for me, I keep saying this is because well, I need to open my own eyes and really see the picture.

It’s kind of like saying, you work so hard at something, trying to impress someone, or trying to show someone that you’re capable of doing it, but in the end there is no one there to give you a pat on the back, tell you that you did super, tell you that you are capable of doing anything, to tell you that this is something that you’re meant to do and so forth. I guess sometimes, you just have to do it for yourself, but for other’s to realise, you just have to do it a multiple of times just so that in the end, they’ll see what you did. Even though it might not seem like much, it really means a lot to you.

They always told us that nothing was impossible. They always told us that everyhing was possible. They always told us that if we set our minds to it, we’ll be able to do anything. They always say that there is always a possibility to a impossibility. No matter what, anything is possible. Even though it might look impossible, there is someone that has made it possible. If you think about it, there are a lot of things that we have, that we want, that we dream of, it’s all been done, it’s all been proven. I guess you just have to give it time and just let it be known that anything is possible if you work hard enough to accomplish it.

They always say that no matter what a smile can confuse you, and a smile can be contagious. Sometimes when you can beat them, you mind as well join them. These past couple of days, I haven’t been myself lately, always in a grumpy, emo like mood. Things haven’t been doing me right and things haven’t been the best as well. I hate to admit but sometimes I just can’t stand certain people. Of course, not everyone can stand everyone. But what do i say when i can’t stand someone? I don’t say anything. Seriously, I just sit there and let my mind take over my body as it brings me down into a depress person, I hate it, but it’s just something that has been happening lately. But I’m back to my old self, at least for now, but since I’m already back to my old self, I’m glad that I can smile, laugh and be happy with everyone else.

Growing up, the only expectation my parents ever gave us was that no matter what we have to be able to do it on our own, becaucse when we graduate high school and head off to college we are on our own and there isn’t going to be anyone that is going to be holding our hands. I guess for me, my own expectations has always been to be able to prove people wrong, to show them that I can do it, but sometimes it’s hard. For now, I try my hardest and try to do my best. I’m not perfect and I’m not the smartest, but at least I try, which is all that really counts. I guess being asian and growing up in an asian family, it was different in my shoes. My parents didn’t expect to get straight A’s, they didn’t expect me to get a 4.0 GPA, all they wanted was me to be happy with whatever I do.

I’ve given myself something I had tried hard to not break after a week. I’ve been been good with promises, yet it’s amazing how great I’m with secrets. When I made this promise to myself, i didn’t expect myself to break it every week. I didn’t expect myself to break it after three days. But sometimes, every time I try to break it for all the right reasons, it doesn’t. But for all the wrong reasons, it just breaks. It’s hard to be like this but sometimes it’s just how life it. Its stupid to make promises with yourself, but it gives yourself a little comfort, when you don’t want the world to know everything single spec about you.

People always say, ‘If it isn’t too much…’ Yet, it always makes me wonder, why say it when in the end no matter what, we’re always willing to help you out. I know it’s difficult to ask in your point of view, but sometimes people are more than generous and would even do the craziest thing knowing that it’ll make you happy. Isn’t that what it means to help out? To know that no matter what, you can always trust them to always be there for you when you least expect it? Now, if it isn’t too much to ask, go out there and help a friend.

When thinking about this, i was listening to ‘Man in the Mirror’ by Michael Jackson. I began to understand what it really meant. Sometimes you have to look in the mirror to see who is really the one that has always been there for you, the one that has always put up with everything you’ve gone through, so forth. I a difficult life. Some people seem to live it more easily than others, but sometimes we just have to put our foot out, one after the other and see where we get. Even though we don’t know, our eyes seems to always know.

Love is a funny thing, but yet the world is full of it. Sometimes we don’t see that we’re with the wrong people, thus that is why there is always someone that tells us that that person is the one you should be with, but in the end you’re somehow with him/her. Sometimes we don’t see how much we’ve fallen for that guy/gal. Sometimes we don’t see how foolish we really are. But I guess that’s what love is right?
Love does fool us, when we less expect it to. Sometimes we just don’t know it but for sure, we will understand in the end, that maybe we’re just not cut out for love, while others might be.